Ok so... when I left England to come and live in Nigeria I left my family behind. There are times I wonder if that was such a good idea. Especially at festive or memorable times like Christmas, Easter, Mother/Father’s day and on special birthdays. My baby sister is turning 30 and I am not going to be there to sing happy birthday to her and tell her the thirties are not as dreadful as people make them. I wish I could be there for her but I can’t so I am writing her a list of lessons I've learnt in my thirties and hope she can learn from my experiences. Hmmm... I guess it’s not such a bad gift after all cos it cost a whole less more than a designer bag or any expensive gift she would have demanded but if used right could be more valuable. Sometimes other people’s experiences are better teachers:
1. Thirties & Thriving: Your thirties are the years you thrive financially especially if you have no dependants. You come into ‘your own’. Try to develop good saving and investment habits.
2. Thirties & Career: Because you love a job does not mean it will love you back. Develop other income streams. It is empowering for your career to know you are not solely dependent on a job. It also brings helps you maintain your dignity in the stupidities of career called office politics.
3. Thirties & Winning: Make the most of all you experience in life. Life rarely goes the way you planned it but always remember it is not what happens to you that matters it is what you do with what happens that counts.
4. Thirties & Confident: In your thirties you grow into a level of confidence you did not experience in your twenties. Hold on to this with all your might. You are going to need it to make the right decisions at this age. It is easier to live with mistakes you decide upon than those decided on for you
5. Thirties & Satisfied: In your thirties you finally learn to accept life will not go the way you dreamt it in your earlier years...and you become OK with it.
6. Thirties & Self: You first. At this age you must learn that only the ‘saved can save’ and only the ‘taught can teach’. Learn to give unto yourself first.
7. Thirties & Dating: Thirties minutes into your first date you should be able to tell if he is worth seeing again or not. If you cant...check your light bulb!
8. Thirties & Loving: I have learnt the acid test for any guy who says he loves you at this age is his ability to be angry at you without being cruel/humiliating you. If he crosses this line run and never look back. (When I say run...Forest Gump should have nothing on you!)
9. Thirties & Sisters: In my thirties I have come to realise that my sisters are the safest deposit for my darkest secrets not because they love me but because they’ll share my shame. So they guard my secretes with their lives too.
10. Thirties & Men: There is no Mr Perfect only Mr Perfect for you. Even though opposites attract you will have more peace with a man who is more similar than different from you.
11. Thirties & Friends: Friends are people you do lunch, movies and picnics with. They are not the people you bare your heart and soul to. They are however the people you work the hardest to keep a happy relationship with and try not to delete from your phone book because your world is only as large as the people you know.
12. Thirties & Parents: Parents are the people you look at to understand why you do the things you do in the way you do... and then decide what about them you want to preserve and what you want to discard. They make for a wonderful case study of ones-self, which in turn makes you a better care giver to them as they grow older and more dependent on you emotionally or financially even.
13. Thirties & Happy: I have learnt that which is worth protecting above all I have and earned in life is my happiness. Don’t give it away; never watch it slip away. Don’t trade it in for anything not even love, it is worth more. It is all you have. It is what you are. It is what no one can give you and all you can give yourself.
14. Thirties & More: Just when you think it is all over it starts again. God renews our lives and chances every day. Trust God, Trust Me...the best is yet to come.
Happy Birthday Sis!
NB:
My sister I continue to grow in wisdom learn from me it will keep your safe.
Thirties & Friend-in-laws: 'Friend-in-laws' are the ones married to your friends. Please learn that after your friends are married you are only to tell them the things you dont mind their spouses knowing about you for there are no secrets between the two. Only tell your business when you are ready to share it with the their other half for there are now three of you in this relationship whether you realise it or not.
Fascinating.
ReplyDelete...& career, i say, get that (additional) qualification (membership or whatever) not necessarily cos it increases your knowledge base but, because with it you know you ain't limited. There is a sure way we carry ourselves when we know we know we ain't limited that makes even the bosses (that like us not) to defer to us.
Ultimately, at 30s...... we should always live each day so we don't want to relive it to make up to things undone.
Be 30s.....and be happy.