Match Making: The Rules

Ok so...

...your phone rings and you hear an unfamiliar voice and s/he says ‘Hi. My name is ‘x’ and ‘y’ gave me your number’. We’ve all heard this at some point or another and I am guessing increasingly so the longer you stay single.

Our developing world is increasingly becoming a disconnected place in the traditional sense. Think about it, thanks to facebook, the phone, skype, internet and all you hardly need to see anyone to keep in touch. So its no wonder most people are going back to the old reliable introduction tact tics our grandparents and some parents used to find a mate. The whole introduction system seems to work as they had married earlier and had significantly lower divorce rates. So if we must go back to basics I think it is important to do it just the way they did.  Here are some of the rules I would recommend to matchmakers:

Rule #1: All sizes do not fit one

Ok so...because I am single does not mean all sizes fit this one. I once had a ‘friend’ introduce me to a ‘nice guy’. A few weeks after meeting this guy he started ‘manifesting’. I soon found out he was clinically insane. He had been diagnosed manic depressive years ago and everyone including my ‘friend’ knew this. To put it lightly I was not too happy with my ‘friend’. Not any man or woman would do for any single person under your radar.

Rule #2: Everything must be declared

If you are going to introduce two singletons then I think it is only fair you do your homework before you match making them. In the good old days there were all sorts of background checks done before the matchmaking process was initiated e.g. Family history, mental and physical health of the prospect and the family at large; family traits and character etc. Town gossip was also heavily relied upon hence people tried really hard to preserve a good name. Personally I think a good matchmaker should declare all to the candidates e.g. was s/he married? Does s/he have kids? What caused the break up with the ex? I am a firm believer in looking before you leap. With this in mind I suggest the matchmaker tells about the other person and only proceeds with putting both singletons in touch when inspite of all information shares there is still a mutual interest from both singletons to meet.

Rule #3: Opposites don’t stay attracted very long

If I got a dollar for every time I heard a matchmaker say ‘he is not too well off but...’ what the hell?! Again I say if we must copy please let’s paste! Back in the day princes were introduced to princesses. I don’t think it is fair to introduce a girl who has struggled to make it on her own to an unemployed guy with no work experience and tell her that she will make him into what she wants her man to be! Hell no!! Please match people appropriately according to their social status, professional activities, educational level, emotional wellbeing and financial position!!!!!!! Even though opposites attract you get along better with likeminded people. The outcome of matchmaking should be of thanks giving to God not testimonies of what God is able to do after much long suffering!!

Rule #4: Thou shall not ask ‘so what is happening?’

After the initial introduction your work is done. Don’t keep bombarding both singletons with calls asking ‘so what is happening?’. If you made a good call you’ll get your wedding invite in due time. It is difficult enough trying to start something going with another singleton without the spectators monitoring the progress. Treat the newness of their relationship like pregnancy...let it grow and when it can’t be hidden anymore you’ll know.

Rule# 5: If things don’t work out

If things don’t work out and the ex couple confide in you about the details of their relationships do the following:

5a.
Dont take sides. Many a people have broken up and made right up.

5b.
Dont spread the word. The fact they have shared the details of relationship with you does not give you the right to broad cast it to others

5c.
Dont play judge. I assume you introduced two consenting adults let them work through it themselves if they want to.

5d.
Dont cross communicate. Because you stay in touch with both parties does not mean you should keep them updated whats happening with the other person especially their dating lives.

Ok peeps I think I have schooled you enough. Don’t hesitate to hola if you have any other good matchm

aking tips.