So...my childhood dreams of meeting Prince Charming have faded away with time. Yet all I dreamed of is being fulfilled even if Prince Charming is yet to come. The only constant man in my life has been my dear old papa but yet the special place in my heart I swept and kept clear for ' my prince' is being occupied.
The dreams I dreamt of my prince have started to unfold. I got the expensive jewelry I hoped he would buy me, the fast car I imagined we would take long rides in together and even the big house I thought we would raise a family in but my prince is yet to come. I have become my provider and protector I have become the man in my life.
I've gained the riches I thought my prince would bring me I've had to out smart the other men in the office, risen in rank and become their boss and in so doing I have learnt to become the man of my dreams. I've learnt to speak louder so that I am heard above their deep voices, wear bolder colours to be seen beyond the puffy smoke from their cigars, desensitize myself of four letter words that tells everyone in the room I am a man's man. I have become the man in my life.
Late nights in bars at hotels willing and dealing, meetings in their living rooms while their wives serve us with subserviance that makes my skin crawl but touché I see the disgust in her eyes as she watches me speak my mind firmly to the man in her life. Unlike his wife I am a woman who is not just seen but also heard and though she does not approve of my independence she is envious of my freedom.
And now with no apology the man that was meant to be in my life all this while appears and he is shocked his space has been occupied. He took his time to find me and now he dares to say:
"You work to hard!"
"Such long hours?"
"Patience is a virtue my dear..."
But through his chatter there is only one voice I hear and its that of the man in my life. He says
"I was there when he was not, on lonely night and all; I even took you on shopping sprees when all we had was us. Tell me my dear, will you really now forsake what we have for what we know not?"
The man in your life. Dont give up on the man you have waited for. He might feel intimidated and insecure so he thinks you work too hard. It might just be ego. men have ego but you surely need 'the man' in your life
ReplyDeleteAgree with sincmedia here! After sometime being the man in your own life can get downright boring! Just my 2cents!
ReplyDeletebut guys this is the ugly truth about dating in your 30s you become more set in your ways and sometimes it is easier to be happier on your own than learning new tricks for another. I hear you though i am not giving up on love just hoping it can happen with less stress and drama. its harder to make love stick the older you get...honest!
ReplyDeleteWell said 30s...u have a funny and an insightful way with words. Why I've never come across ur blog, I cannot say. However, I don't agree with the man in my life being boring. As someone in her thirties and on the way to tying the nuptial knot,I have no apologies for being set in my ways, being bold and having the guts to say what I mean and what I want. The guy i'm tying the nuptial knot with is comfortable with my kind of person. Personally, I've had a swell time with the man in my own life and i'm not letting her go for one minute.
ReplyDeleteThis is simply beautiful.....unconsciously working your way to become the man in your life.
ReplyDeleteHowever, should i whisper something to you, do you know that 'tis these same attitude (that has made you become the man in your life) that will endear you to the 'prince'?
The one who feel treatened is obviously not the 'prince' for 'twill consistently be a battle to 'prove', but, him whom together you flow like water in a stream, surely is the 'prince'.
The question is, "Art thou willing to wait for the 'prince' without settling for just anyone?
Hey Jan, How are the wedding plans comming along? Awaiting my invite o so I can come and see how it is done ;-)
ReplyDeleteHey Rethots, thanks for the vote of confidence. I was almost about to sell out. The otherday I was adviced to ditch my flat in Lekki and move to Surulere cos anyman who finds out I rented a place for myself in Lekki would think I was too high maintainance or had lifestyle sponsors (aka sugar daddy) lol! i tell you its quiet an experience learning how things work in Nija but I am enjoying the learning process.
@TFT9 You go girl! As a single woman is her 30's living in 9ja I know the man you're talking about. This man has kept me sane and showed me love more than any other man has been willing to. This inner man comforted me on cold nights and told me to keep the faith. Keep being strong my dear. e go better. Keep the house in Lekki and the car (i'm keeping mine) abeg, you worked for it. If my CRV keeps any non-confident man anyway so be it. I'd rather be with a strong, black confident man than a worm who can't handle a confident, beautiful and strong woman like me.
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