Ok so...It’s a New Year and with each New Year comes a lot of hope and expectations of what lies ahead. Along with our hopes, dreams, plans and expectations comes a lot of reflection of what happened in the previous year. Some wave good bye to the past year with much relief, some wish the passing year would linger on just a little while longer if it’s been a good year; others just go with the flow. As I start this year I have taken a good look at all aspects of my life and while I thrive in some I see I am making no progress in others. It’s no secret that my love life seems to be stuck in a repetitive cycle (you should know because I am still updating this blog!). Thank God though each year it seems my business life grows and evolves and I have come to the conclusion that if I applied the principles in my business life to my love life ‘my story would change’ for the better just like my business life. So, here are a few business principles from my business life I would like to share with my dear and faithful readers and of course apply to my love life in 2012!
Ok lets go...
1. Get Connected - I started my business in Nigeria after only 19 months in the country as a returnee from the UK who knew no one but her employers, colleagues and customers. I had no family in the country at the time. Very suddenly I found myself unemployed – just like that! My experience in my last job was very traumatic and I vowed I would never be an employee in Nigeria ever again. Losing my job was a shock and many nights I’d wake up in cold sweat thinking “how on earth am I going to survive without a salary at the end of each month?” My employers refused to pay me my salary for the month I had worked and held on to other disengagement benefits I was entitled to (we are still in court 2 years on). I had just come back from a lavish holiday and my financial survival was very dependent on my withheld salary. Needless to say I needed to start making money fast so I started my business the Monday after the Friday I lost my job. With no clue as to who would want my services I called people I had a good relationship with in my previous job and told them I was now self employed. Luckily they had seen my work in my previous job and knew I was good at what I did. One lady I had given a really good deal at work subcontracted a PR project to me for a top business mans event and dear reader that was how I banked my first few cheques as a self employed Brand Consultant. The morale of this story? I have to keep the faith and believe Mr Right is just an introduction away. It took Ruth in the bible to connect Naomi to Boaz. This year I am resolved to expanding my social network and nurturing my existing relationships. Without shame or pride this year I willing admit my desire to be married to anyone sensible who cares to ask and accept introductions to eligible bachelors, widowers and ‘cured’ divorcees.
2. Get a Vision – The dreaded words we hear after meeting prospective clients are ‘Ok, let’s see a proposal’. This phase of the job I must admit is not my favourite part of the process because it could mean “I’d really like to see what you are offering” or it could also mean “Please go away” which means hours of my time and efforts down the drain! However, the truth of the matter is we’d never find out until we write a proposal about what services and value we can offer the prospective client. The process helps manage both our expectations and gives us a launch pad to discuss what each party can expect from the deal. We’ve all heard the saying if you don’t ask you don’t get. Well until now I must admit I have always fallen into relationships. Without thinking clearly about why I am engaging in the relationship I’d just find myself spending valuable time with this person! I never took the time to match my expectations with theirs or even find out if they were capable of giving me what I wanted and vice versa. (If this has never happened to you great...but I’m speaking the truth here so...). Truth be told I don’t even think I knew what I wanted from these relationships. It was always a case of meeting someone who ‘liked’ me or was attracted to me and just ‘giving it a shot’ if I found them somewhat engaging. This year I also resolve to take the time to decide what I really want out of my next (and prayerfully ‘until death do us part’ final) relationship. I commit to thoroughly thinking about what makes me happy, what value I can bring to him, what experiences I would like to share with this person and then share them without fear with the other person before I fall walk purposefully into the next relationship I have.
3. Get Confident – It doesn’t matter how well a proposal is communicated if you don’t have the confidence to convince the client you can actually execute the proposal. Part of confidence is being able to ask for what you want without fear, anxiety or embarrassment. This year I resolve to ask for what I want from a relationship without fear anxiety or embarrassment of being seen as desperate. If at “thirty-X” (now closer to 40 than 30) I cannot tell you I want a relationship that leads to a purposeful, happy and fruitful marriage within the next two years then... abeg climb Falomo bridge and jump off hard! ...you understand?
4. Get a price tag – This stage is when the ‘professional, people friendly, visionary’ client turns into a fully fledged ‘Aguda area fada’. Even though it’s customary in Nigerian business practices to inflate your prices so that your client’s ego can be well stroked when he chops down your price like a deranged butcher. It is good business sense to have a ‘no pass dis place’ price where you hold your ground and readily walk away from the table. This year I resolve not allow free loaders my way. Let each man share his coat according to his size and gender purpose. I’ve heard it said that “You can give without loving; but you cannot love without giving” This year I command every form of stinginess and selfishness whether it be in the form of time, resources or ideas to FALL DOWN AND JUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amen??
Amen!!!!
They are all dead!!!! (Ladies, clap offering please...)
I also resolve to give a fair portion of my time, love, cooking and creative skills to the one who finds love with me too.
5. Get Focused – It’s hard to produce anything worthwhile without focus and determination. When I am commissioned to manage a project I make it a point of duty call regular meetings with my clients to update them on the work that I have done and get their feedback and assessment of the job. One of the benefits in doing this regularly is that we all maintain our focus about the project. It’s not always smooth sailing as it sounds. Sometimes plans change for the better or the clients’ personal racket. It’s part of the Nigerian business life. The important thing remains that in these meeting we keep our ‘eyes on the ball’ and try to move towards our goal. Again good for you if you can’t relate to my next experience but would you believe that I cannot for once remember any of my relationships where we would actually sit down and talk about the relationship itself? Our time together would mostly evolve about talking about our individual selves, other people, things or ideas but never the actual relationship itself. Now that I have taken the time to do work on my ‘Love-o-lutions’ I can see that part of the reasons my relationships fail is because I’ve failed to plan. Some people may think it’s too mechanical or clinical to actually talk plan relationships. I’ve actually been told many a times to just ‘let it happen naturally’. But really... think about it has anything great really happened naturally? Apart from the Seven Wonders of the World (that are actually God’s work) which I bet God planned for our enjoyment. Is greatness not the outcome of planning, hard work and dedication? Did you know that Will Smith and Jada Pinket started going to marriage counselling classes after their first few dates and still do so? When people ask why they chose to do so they reply “don’t want to have problems in our relationship”. Its wise to prevent rather than cure right? In view of this I hereby resolve to make it clear to Mr Right that I would like to talk regularly about our relationship so we deal with things as they happen. I know if I end up with a Nija brother he’d likely to tell me marriage counselling is for white people (lol!) but I’ll try. I hereby resolve not to date anyone who is not big on communication. Its my thing and I dont think its too much to ask for.
6. Get Real – The business person that does not earnestly watch over their business soon suffers loss. I resolve in 2012 to keep it real and deal with the issues head on as they arise. No mago mago; No wahala!!
Happy New Year y’all!
May this year fill our hearts with love and joy!!
Roll on 2012; I’m ready for you!!!
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