My wife too!

Ok so...

I have been in Nigeria for 6 months now and since my move here was arranged by the organisation that I work for I decided not to jump into the dating scene until I got my feet firmly under the table. I think I have done that so far even though it meant making a few enemies along the way. Staff in Nigeria think the employer hires them to be present not to get the job done. I was employed as the COO for the first boutique hotel in Nigeria. The owner of the company has done well to be one of the few Nigerians to have owned and grown his company “organic fashion” over the last 30 years. Consistence in business in Nigeria must be applauded because nothing lasts in Nigeria. The lack of a maintenance culture in the society is one of the nation’s major challenges. He started in the information sector but he has since made a decent name for himself in real estate. I was employed to manage the outfit they are building in Abuja which is well over 2 years past its launch date. The project seems to be going nowhere in a hurry since he hired his Indian friends as the building contractors. They were such good friends to him they demanded full payment upfront in return they are running 2 years late on the project as the interest mounts up on the company’s loan. The only saving grace the organisation has is that there are almost no alternatives in Nigeria so all of the stakeholders are reluctant to pull their investments because they know the hotel is going to be a landmark in Nigeria when it is eventually built. It will be the largest hotel in Nigeria for a while when it opens.

I went to a site meeting in Abuja and decided to get some competitor shopping done while I was there. I ran into one of our stakeholders who introduced me to the tallest, darkest most handsome man I had met in a while. But my...he was arrogant! Kept on saying things that annoyed me e.g. I was introduced as the COO of the Boutique hotel and he introduced himself in turn as my nightmare and competitor. Come on! I am quite competitive myself but I like to do it with an air of sophistication not running around making empty threats especially as I now know his business module for the hotel was a disaster and I hear he is suffering terribly for it now. Anyway that was that.

I live in Lagos, and manage the Boutique hotel in Lagos for the time being while to hotel in Abuja is being built. It is small but a good way of getting myself inducted in the new hospitality industry. I get a call from ‘Mr Dark and Lovely’ and he tells me he came into Lagos for some business and has decided to postpone his trip back because he’d like to see me. What a cheek I think to myself! Does he really think I am that stupid to believe he would come into Lagos without telling me and then alter his plans just to see me? Besides I have not heard from this character since we met! This reaffirms what I had heard about the ‘dating scene’ in Nigeria. The girls make it so easy for these guys that they don’t make an effort anymore they only have to sneeze to get a girl to drop her knickers! Anyway I am mad as hell and am not about to let him off the hook easily so I tell him to give me a few moments to reschedule my plans so that I can meet him for lunch. I take the time to save his number as ‘DO NOT ANSWER’ and do just that for the next few days. He eventually gets the message.

Or so I thought until I bumped into him in one of the restaurants in the Boutique hotel where I work a few months later. I actually did not recognise him but then he reintroduced himself to me this time as the guy I stood up last time he was in town. He seemed somewhat humbled and genuine this time and asked me why I refused to meet up with him. In my typical frank fashion I tell him I thought he was being very sleazy claiming he altered his plans just for me so I decided not to see him. He explained he was only trying to break the ice and was not trying to insult my intelligence. ‘Mr Dark and Lovely’ seems really nice and I had been stuck in the damn Boutique hotel for months refusing to do anything but work. What the hell... I’ll meet him for dinner this time. Eko hotel at 8 it is!

I get to Eko hotel at 8pm sharp and he fetches me from the lobby. He asks if I’m hungry or just fancied a drink because he’s looking forward to just having drinks by the pool. What the heck I think to myself who knows this might ‘be the one’ I play the potential wife card and settle for drinks by the pool (you know... show him that I’m not a frivolous spender). I order a soda water and then we start to make small talk. After the general questions like ‘how was work was today’; he starts to ask me about myself. So he says to me ‘what state are you from?’. I answer ‘Anambra’. His response was not one I would have anticipated in a billion years. Very excited he answers back ‘my wife too!’. In my shock I take a deep breath to control my anger and turn around catching a good sight of the tall tower behind me; it is the Eko hotel and on the topmost floor is one of the most exquisite restaurants in Lagos it is called Sky Lounge and they charge handsomely. I turn around, look at him and smile sweetly telling him I am very hungry and I would like to catch a bite at sky lounge.

A bottle of wine later and a meal of lobster on; I have gotten to know my date rather well! He is married with four children, would like to have six, has political ambitions and believes he would be the first Nigerian to be asked to become president as supposed to campaign for the position. I can’t deny he is a bag of laughs. I also start to understand that what I had perceived as arrogance was just his peculiar of sense of humour which actually grows on you after a while. I even find out he is an A listed oil dealer – he has been at it for years even back in the Obasanjo’s days which force him to expand his business beyond Nigeria into wider Africa. I think the moment he came clean and told me he had a wife we both relaxed and just enjoyed a nice chatty dinner. He later on told me he was very clear about his family status with me because he had no intentions of leaving his wife and that the typical Nigerian girl has a preference for married men because it makes for a hassle free affair. Somehow I would like to think he sensed I was different as we spent the rest of the evening talking politics, business and picking at his silly jokes. Now and then he would try his luck in jest like telling me when his son becomes the next black American president he will invite me to the White House to dance with his family at the inauguration and by then his family and wife will know about us! Lol!! Jesting aside though I think he understands it’s not my thing and is still ok to be friends with me.

Later on that night as he walked me to my car I realised what a fun night I had. On my drive home I reflect over the events of the evening and I see the beauty of being older and wiser. In my twenties drinks would have ended on his lap when he told me he was married but in my thirties I play the game differently. I get him to buy me an expensive meal, I’ve made a very influential friend if I ever need a heavy weight on my side and I get to write a short story about it! :-)

Lessons from the 30s: It’s not what happens to you that matters but how you handle it.

Note to self: Handle Mr Dark and Lovely with extreme caution many a mistresses were once buddies.

Thanks for sharing peeps, until next time... stay flirty and keep thriving!